hotel room ftw
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
