Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
