OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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