How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i came on her dog
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
