I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
