I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
