I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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