My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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