I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
