I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
