Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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