I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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