next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
