Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
