i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
