Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
