high people should be assigned attendants
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
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