what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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