I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
