worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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