we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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