You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
