The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
