she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
