i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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