Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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