is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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