pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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