Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
