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• (631): View more from New York

  You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.

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• (347): View more from New York

  He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  God you're perfect.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.

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• (760): View more from California

  This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes

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• (818): View more from California

  I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex

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• (786): View more from Florida

  I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.

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