no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
