Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
