I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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