I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
