every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
