He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
