these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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