i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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