At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
