I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
