Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
