Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
