id be glad to
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Floor bacon is actually really good
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
