he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
