Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Jerry, you need to find god
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
nutella sex= disaster
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
