i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
