I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
