his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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