I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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