just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
