i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
